Asking when feeling weak 3/30

Before I start the post, I’m doing well, took care of myself, food was tasty and sleep is going to be AMAZING!

I began to faint twice today in the metro, the first I was sitting and felt myself going, the second I was standing and I have a moment of out, then I was held up by a kind soul who helped me onto the chair.

I went to give some of my plasma today. Like a blood donation ish. I’ve given blood before and I was all good. Today I stay after the donation for 30 mins ate, drank loads of water, felt good. I walked around town for one hour felt good too.

When I got into the metro, the heat got to me, and I felt myself sweating, and passing out.

I left the train to sit and get some air. Felt better and proceed to take the metro again this time I was standing.

I’ve grown a sense of inner security since 2023, and this is showing up in my life everywhere.

It comes with a deeper knowing and inner trusting that’s unshakable.

When I walk into the metro the second time, I crossed gaze with someone. They’re the one who held me up and guided me to sit down. I allowed myself to be helped.

My past self, would have thanked and then push throught to manage on her own.

I went out of the train for some air, they stayed with me, I had a cardboard I was using as a fan, they took it and fanned me air. They inquired and waited for me to know that I’d be ok.

I call a family member to ask to come meet me at a metro stop for support.

My past self would have figured out a way to do it on her own, and push through.

I meet them, had tea, they gave me food, and then they walked me back to mine, 5 minutes away.

My past self would have felt so much guilt for receiving support that she thought she didn’t deserve. She would have felt so bad for being so weak, and so open about it. The shame that would have been there too.

Today I feel grateful. Grateful for the stranger who delayed their journey to make sure I was ok, grateful for my family member to look after me. I’m taking my space in the world and all of it is ok.

I also feel the security in myself for listening to my body. Circumstances can change very fast and I allow myself to be with it all.

Grateful for the woman that I am today.

From my wild heart to yours

Tara

3/30